Indians cannot understand British English! How? Read on …

Language is the product of culture, and to understand a language, one must understand the culture. That is why, if an Indian, in spite of  speaking excellent English, will be baffled and bamboozled by some of the British expressions that are culturally defined. Well, here are some such expressions for you to muse:

1. Do you have time?

Imagine an English man asking an Indian woman this question: “Do you have time?” while she is standing at a bus stop! Either the woman will walk away, or the man’s cheek will receive a stinging blow. Poor man, all he asked was to know what time it was!

Britishers say, “Do you have time?” to ask what the time is. Of course they also use, “What is the time?”, or “Could you tell me the time?” …

2. Fancy a cuppa?

If a Brit asks you this question, don’t wonder if they are asking you to eat cuppakilangu, (tapioca) … all they ask you is if you wish to have a cup of tea with them.

3. Are you taking the Mickey?

Don’t say, “NO!”, or “Yes”, to this question thinking that the Brit is asking if you wish to buy a mickey mouse! All they say is if you are joking! There is also this expression: “He took a Mickey out of me.” Which means he made a joke about me.

4. Bob’s your uncle

Wait, don’t begin to argue that you do not have an uncle named Bob. All this expression means is that “It is an easy job, and see, it’s done.” well, let me make it clear: imagine you are struggling to operate a lift, a Brit comes, presses a few buttons and says, “Bob’s your uncle.” As the lift begins to move. That’s that.

5. Take the biscuit

Hey! Wait, don’t search for the plate of biscuits, or for a tin of biscuits! Expecting to grab a couple. This expression means, “Somebody has done an outrageous/annoying act.” Well, look at this sentence: “John began to laugh aloud at the funeral and took the biscuit.” Hmph

Can you believe these expressions and their meanings? Honestly, I can’t, still, even after researching them for this blog post. Folks, next time, someone asks you if you speak English, you say, yes I speak English but not that British one. !!!

*** Have you come across such strange expressions? If yes, please drop them in the comments.

Happy Biriyani!!!

[VO! This is my expression that means happy Sunday! Because for us folks, there’s no Sunday without biriyani, leave alone the happy part!]